The Best Lawyer Jokes
Here are our best lawyer jokes that we hope you find appealing.
- What’s the difference between a bad lawyer and a good lawyer? A bad lawyer can let a case drag out for several years. A good lawyer can make it last even longer.
- What’s the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer? A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.
- Why did God invent lawyers? So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
- What’s the difference between a lawyer and a vulture? The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
- What’s black and brown and looks good on a lawyer? A Doberman Pinscher.
- Where there is a will there is a lawsuit.
- What is the difference between a catfish and a lawyer? One is a bottom-dwelling, garbage-eating scavenger. The other is a fish.
- How do you greet a lawyer with an IQ of 70? “Good morning, your honor.”
- What’s the difference between a lawyer and a leech? After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
- How does an attorney sleep? First he lies on one side and then on the other.
- Why’d the lawyer go to Heaven? Hell was full.
- How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? His lips are moving.
- What do you call 500 lawyers at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean? A good start.
- Why do they bury lawyers twelve feet deep? Because deep down, they are really good guys!
- What’s the difference between a lawyer and God? God doesn’t think he’s a lawyer.
- What’s the difference between a lawyer and an onion? People cry when they cut an onion.
- How do you stop a lawyer from drowning? Shoot him before he hits the water.
- What’s the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull? Lipstick.
What’s the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo? The lawyer charges more.
- Why don’t snakes bite attorneys? Professional courtesy.
Please share your favorite lawyer jokes in the comments section.