My wife was drunk one night and told me that I could tie her up and do anything I wanted.
So I tied her up and went fishing.
Tag: Marriage
Conversation Starter
The other day my wife ask me: “Are you even listening to me?”
That is a weird way to start a conversation if you ask me.
Little Things
For our anniversary I bought my wife beads for her abacus.
It is the little things that count.
So Itchy
My wife keeps wondering why she is always so itchy.
I keep wondering why she always pronounces it with a silent “b”.
Married Men
Why do married men gain weight and bachelors don’t?
The bachelors go to the refrigerator, see nothing they want, then go to bed. Married guys go to bed, see nothing they want, then go to the refrigerator.
Packed Bags
My wife packed my bags and kicked me out of the house.
As I walked out the front door, she screamed,
“I wish you a slow and painful death, you jerk!”
“Oh,” I replied, “so now you want me to stay!”
The Ex
I tried to re-marry my ex-wife.
But she figured out I was only after my money.
Great Thing About Marriage
The great thing about marriage is it allows you to annoy that one special person for the rest of your life.
No Domestic Violence
My wife really enjoys singing. When she does I always go out and do some work on the house so our neighbors can see there’s no domestic violence going on.
Divorce
Anyone who says money can’t by happiness has obviously never been divorced.