My wife hasn’t said a word to me in a week.
The best part is, she thinks it is punishment.
Category: Sexist Jokes
Marry Her
How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
Marry her.
New Pug
I bought a pug for my wife.
Despite the bulging eyes, wrinkles and layers of fat, the pug seemed to like her.
Box of Chocolates
Crazy ex-girlfriends are like a box of chocolate.
They will kill your dog.
No Advice Needed
What did got create man before he created woman?
He didn’t want to have to listen to any advice.
New Issues
My wife is like a newspaper, there is a new issue every single day.
Pregnant Girlfriend
When my girlfriend told me she was pregnant I started crying.
I know what it is like to grow up without a father.
Missing Wife
My wife has been missing for over a week. The police said to be prepared for the worst.
So I had to go to Goodwill to get all her clothes back.
Devil Sessions
I just found out my wife has weekly sessions with the devil on how to be more evil.
I don’t know what she charges him for it though.
Crash on the Couch
My buddy asked me if he could crash on my couch for a few days.
I had to explain to him that I am married now and that is where I sleep.