How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None, that’s a hardware issue.
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When the punchline becomes apparent.
I was wanted to donate blood today, but they ask to many personal questions.
Like who’s blood is this and where did I get it.
I started investing in stocks of Beef, Chicken, and Vegetables.
One day I hope to be a bouillonaire.
What did the older chimney say to the younger chimney?
You’re to young to smoke.
The bank robber says, “Don’t change the subject!”.
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?
Because they lactose.
Banks should really do a better job of keeping their ATMs filled.
I’ve been to 4 already today and they all said “insufficient funds”.
For Hispanic attacks!
Why did the pizza maker run from the mafia?
He owed them a lot of dough!
An old lady at the bank asked me if I could help her check her balance.
So I pushed her over.
Today I found a replacement for butter.
It is margarinely better.
The problem with working in IT:
Everything is working fine: “What the hell are we paying you for?”
Something breaks: “What the hell are we paying you for?”
Do you know why there are so many female Archaeologists?
Women love digging up the past.
