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Hi, I’m Buzz Aldrin. Second person to step on the moon.

Neil before me.

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If you rearrange the letters of POSTMEN…

They become VERY ANGRY.

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Children are like farts.

You can really only stand your own.

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Dads are like Boomerangs.

I hope.

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What do you call it when you shoot a gun in space?

A Big Bang!

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Why does Trump take Xanax?

For Hispanic attacks!

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I ordered a chicken and an egg from amazon…

I’ll let you know.

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Which one of Santa’s reindeer is the biggest bully?

Olive, the other reindeer.

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If I had a nickel for every time I failed a math exam, I’d have $ 1.03 by now.

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What do you call an obese psychic?

A four chin teller.

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Why was Pavlov’s hair so soft?

Because he conditioned it.

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Imagine if the U.S. switched from pounds to kilograms overnight.

It would be mass confusion.

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What do you call a fat psychic?

A 4 chin teller.

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I can’t believe no one has come up with a cure for anorexia yet.

I thought it would be as easy as pie.

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Did you hear the song about the tortilla?

Actually, it was more of a wrap.

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