My wife caught me cross-dressing and said it’s over.
So I packed her things and left.
Why do married men gain weight and bachelors don’t?
The bachelors go to the refrigerator, see nothing they want, then go to bed. Married guys go to bed, see nothing they want, then go to the refrigerator.
Why was the blacksmith’s son sent to detention?
He was caught forging signatures.
When my grandfather turned 60 he started walking 10 miles a day.
He is 72 now and we have no idea where he is.
What is the definition of a farmer?
Someone who is outstanding in his field.
What do you call exploding underwear?
Fruit of the BOOM!
I just found out my wife cheated on me with her deaf best friend.
Honestly, I should have seen the signs.
You put it in the blender.
If you rearrange the letters of MAILMEN
They become VERY ANGRY
What do you get when you rub two oranges together?
Pulp friction.
What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
A hippo is very heavy, but a zippo is a little lighter.
What is it called when Batman skips church?
Christian Bale!
What do you call Iron Man without his suit?
Stark naked.
What’s the difference between me and cancer?
My dad didn’t beat cancer.
