How many French soldiers does it take to defend Paris?
Know one knows, it hasn’t been done before.
I scared my postman today by going to the door naked.
I’m not sure what freaked him out more, my naked body or the fact that I knew where he lived.
Want to hear a construction joke?
Sorry, I am still working on it.
What did the mermaid wear to her math class?
An algae bra.
I once stayed up all night trying figure out where the sun went.
Then it dawned on me.
What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Princess Diana?
Tiger Woods has a better driver.
I spent an hour at my wife’s grave this morning.
She thinks I am digging a pool.
I’m a 40 year old with the body of a 20 year old.
I Just need to find a place to bury her.
What did the older chimney say to the younger chimney?
You’re to young to smoke.
My math teacher never goes outside.
I can tell, cos there’s no sin of his tan.
I’m pretty sure I would make a great waiter.
I know I could bring a lot to the table.
My wife always gave me a hard time about my bad sense of direction.
So, I finally packed my bags and right.
Why is your nose in the middle of your face?
Because it’s the scenter.
My dad suffers with short term memory loss.
Hope it doesn’t run in the family because my dad has it too.
I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places.
He told me to stop going to those places.
