What did one butt cheek say to the other?
“Between you and me it stinks in here”
Karate Class
Not to brag, but I defeated our local chess champion yesterday in less than 5 moves.
Finally my high school karate classes came in useful.
2020 Won
We cannot allow this year to end,
That would be admitting that 2021.
Protests
Why do police get to protests early?
To beat the crowd.
Task Manager
Why did Karen press CTRL + Alt + Delete?
She wanted the Task Manager.
Wife’s Attention
I was struggling to get my wife’s attention.
So I sat down on the couch and looked comfortable, that did the trick.
What the Coronavirus can do
What can coronavirus do that the United States government can’t?
Stop school shootings.
Shatner Panties
William Shatner has discontinued his new line of lingerie.
Apparently, Shatner panties wasn’t the best choice for a name.
Flat Earth Debate
One time I debated a flat earthier.
He got so mad that he stormed off saying that he would walk to the edge of the earth just to prove me wrong. He’ll come around eventually
Peekaboo Virus
Scientists have discovered another deadly pathogen they are calling the Peekaboo virus.
Doctors are sending anyone with peekaboo straight to ICU.