How did the doctor cure the invisible man?
He took him to the ICU
Red, White & Blue
I’m AMERICAN and I BLEED red, white and blue!
I really should see a doctor about it, but I can’t afford the copay.
Pack of Camels
A pack of geese is a gaggle
But a pack of camels is why my dad never came back.
Teenage Girls
Why do teenage girls go to the bathroom in odd-numbered groups?
Because they can’t even.
J in Donald
When Donald Trump was asked what the J stood for in Donald J Trump..
He said “Genius”.
Life after Death
Life after death does exist!
Just not for the person that died.
Birthday Present
I asked my wife what she wanted for her birthday.
She said “Nothing would make me happier than a pair of diamond earrings”, so I got her nothing.
Pirate’s Least Favorite Letter
What’s a pirate’s least favorite letter?
Dear Sir or Madam,
Your IP address has been flagged for illegally downloading movies. We will have to suspend your account, pending further investigation.
Sincerely,
Your Internet Provider
The Best Country
North Koreans believe they live in the best country in the world because they’re brainwashed by the government and the media.
When every American knows that America is the best country in the world.
Polite Football Players
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship.