Why do riot police like to get to work early?
So they can beat the crowd.
Sharp Cheese
I just cut my mouth on cheese.
I knew shouldn’t of bought the extra sharp cheddar.
Conversation Starter
The other day my wife ask me: “Are you even listening to me?”
That is a weird way to start a conversation if you ask me.
Apple Store Fart
I farted in an Apple store and everyone got mad at me.
I told them it was not my fault they didn’t have windows.
Cheese Grater Book
Helen Keller once described a cheese grater as, “The most violent book I ever read”.
The Prize
What prize do you get if you have not moved a muscle in over a year?
A trophy.
Notre Dame and Cheerios
What’s the difference between Notre Dame and Cheerios?
Cheerios belong in a bowl.
A Fine Line
There is a fine line between a numerator and a denominator.
Only a fraction of people will find this funny.
Will Definition
What is the definition of a last will and testament?
You should know the answer, it is a dead giveaway.
Anorexia Cure
I can’t believe no one has come up with a cure for anorexia yet.
I thought it would be as easy as pie.