Funny Political Jokes

Here are some funny political jokes that you didn’t even vote for.

• If con is the opposite of pro, then is Congress the opposite of progress?
• I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldn’t complain.
• If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Instead, there would just a bunch of angry countries not talking to each other.
• When the President pushes the big red button, Chuck Norris’s cell phone rings.
• Did you know that a group of baboons is called a congress? That explains a lot now doesn’t it.
• My favorite mythical creature? The honest politician.
• What’s the difference between a flying pig and a politician? The letter F.
• Don’t steal, don’t lie and don’t cheat. The government hates competition.
• What’s the difference between a politician and a catfish? One is a bottom-dwelling scum-sucker, and the other one is a fish.
• How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb? Two: one to change it and another one to change it back again.
• I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, it’s Election night.
• Democracy is three wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for supper.
• What’s the difference between death and taxes? Death doesn’t get worse every time Congress meets.
• What do you call a lawyer who has gone bad? Senator.
• My love is like communism; everyone gets a share, and it’s only good in theory.
• What do you call a Democratic buffet? A free for all.
• The NSA: a government organization that actually listens to you!
• It was so cold today, a politician had his hands in his own pockets!
• A liberal is just a conservative that hasn’t been mugged yet.
• What happens when you give viagra to lawyers? They grow taller.
• Politicians and diapers have one thing in common: they should both be changed regularly and for the same reason.

Please share your funny political jokes in the comments.