Funny Political Jokes

Political Jokes

Here is our list of funny political jokes that you didn’t even vote for.

  • If con is the opposite of pro, then is Congress the opposite of progress?
  • I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldn’t complain.
  • If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Instead, there would just a bunch of angry countries not talking to each other.
  • When the President pushes the big red button, Chuck Norris’s cell phone rings.
  • Did you know that a group of baboons is called a congress? That explains a lot now doesn’t it.
  • My favorite mythical creature? The honest politician.
  • What’s the difference between a flying pig and a politician? The letter F.
  • Don’t steal, don’t lie and don’t cheat. The government hates competition.
  • What’s the difference between a politician and a catfish? One is a bottom-dwelling scum-sucker, and the other one is a fish.
  • How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb? Two: one to change it and another one to change it back again.
  • I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, it’s Election night.
  • Democracy is three wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for supper.
  • What’s the difference between death and taxes? Death doesn’t get worse every time Congress meets.
  • What do you call a lawyer who has gone bad? Senator.
  • My love is like communism; everyone gets a share, and it’s only good in theory.
  • What do you call a Democratic buffet? A free for all.
  • The NSA: a government organization that actually listens to you!
  • It was so cold today, a politician had his hands in his own pockets!
  • A liberal is just a conservative that hasn’t been mugged yet.
  • What happens when you give viagra to lawyers? They grow taller.
  • Politicians and diapers have one thing in common: they should both be changed regularly and for the same reason.

Please share your funny political jokes in the comments.

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