Funny Political Jokes
Here are some funny political jokes that you didn’t even vote for.
- If con is the opposite of pro, then is Congress the opposite of progress?
- I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldn’t complain.
- If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Instead, there would just a bunch of angry countries not talking to each other.
- When the President pushes the big red button, Chuck Norris’s cell phone rings.
- Did you know that a group of baboons is called a congress? That explains a lot now doesn’t it.
- My favorite mythical creature? The honest politician.
- What’s the difference between a flying pig and a politician? The letter F.
- Don’t steal, don’t lie and don’t cheat. The government hates competition.
- What’s the difference between a politician and a catfish? One is a bottom-dwelling scum-sucker, and the other one is a fish.
- How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb? Two: one to change it and another one to change it back again.
- I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, it’s Election night.
- Democracy is three wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for supper.
- What’s the difference between death and taxes? Death doesn’t get worse every time Congress meets.
- What do you call a lawyer who has gone bad? Senator.
- My love is like communism; everyone gets a share, and it’s only good in theory.
- What do you call a Democratic buffet? A free for all.
- The NSA: a government organization that actually listens to you!
- It was so cold today, a politician had his hands in his own pockets!
- A liberal is just a conservative that hasn’t been mugged yet.
- What happens when you give viagra to lawyers? They grow taller.
- Politicians and diapers have one thing in common: they should both be changed regularly and for the same reason.
Please share your funny political jokes in the comments.