Funny Military Jokes

Military Jokes

Attention, our funny military jokes are sure to square you away.

  • What’s the main mission of the Marines? To make sure the Army never get their feet wet.
  • The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
  • Land-mines cost an arm and a leg these days.
  • Trench warfare should always be a last ditch effort.
  • When William joined the Army, he didn’t appreciate the phrase, “fire at will”.
  • You would think that being a submarine captain would pay well, but I hear they can’t keep their heads above water.
  • Where does a General keep his Armies? In his sleevies!
  • Those who wear sleeveless shirts like to defend the right to bare arms.
  • How do you know when someone is a Marine? They tell you.
  • What’s the difference between God and fighter pilots? God doesn’t think he’s a fighter pilot.
  • What happened when the soldier went into an enemy bar? He got bombed.
  • How do you knock out a marine? Throw sand at the wall and tell him to hit the beach!
  • Those who aim torpedoes are always ready to press charges.
  • When I was in the army, I got my arms shot off. But I shouldered on anyway.
  • Why does the Navy keep Marines on their ships? Because sheep would be too obvious.

Miltary Joke

Please share your favorite military jokes in the comments.

3 thoughts on “Funny Military Jokes

  1. There are so many new names for special people. Like special schools, special education, and special people. So it alarms me when the government sends special forces to war….

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