Funny Military Jokes

Military Jokes

Attention, our funny military jokes are sure to square you away.

  • What’s the main mission of the Marines? To make sure the Army never get their feet wet.
  • The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
  • Land-mines cost an arm and a leg these days.
  • Trench warfare should always be a last ditch effort.
  • When William joined the Army, he didn’t appreciate the phrase, “fire at will”.
  • You would think that being a submarine captain would pay well, but I hear they can’t keep their heads above water.
  • Where does a General keep his Armies? In his sleevies!
  • Those who wear sleeveless shirts like to defend the right to bare arms.
  • How do you know when someone is a Marine? They tell you.
  • What’s the difference between God and fighter pilots? God doesn’t think he’s a fighter pilot.
  • What happened when the soldier went into an enemy bar? He got bombed.
  • How do you knock out a marine? Throw sand at the wall and tell him to hit the beach!
  • Those who aim torpedoes are always ready to press charges.
  • When I was in the army, I got my arms shot off. But I shouldered on anyway.
  • Why does the Navy keep Marines on their ships? Because sheep would be too obvious.

Miltary Joke

Please share your favorite military jokes in the comments.

Leave a Reply