Funny Marriage Jokes

Funny Marriage Jokes

Wedding Rings

Funny marriage jokes that only married people will understand.

  • Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of person your spouse would have preferred.
  • My wife and I were happy for twenty long years. Then we met.
  • My wife told me she needed more space. I said no problem and locked her out of
    the house.
  • Marriage is a workshop, where man works and woman shops.
  • Marry someone who can cook.  Looks fade, hunger doesn’t.
  • Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.
  • I haven’t spoken a word to my wife in years. She hates to be interrupted.
  • My son asked me what it’s like to be married so I told him to leave me alone and when he did I asked him why he was ignoring me.
  • Whats the difference between love and marriage? Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.
  • Never laugh at your wife’s choices. You are one of them.
  • A man simply doesn’t have a clue what real happiness is until he gets married. But by then it’s already too late.
  • I just asked my husband if he remembers what today is. Scaring him is so easy.
  • My wife told me to go and get something that would make her look sexy. So I got drunk.
  • Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the “y” becomes silent.
  • How do you transfer funds even faster than electronic banking? By getting Married.
  • I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always.
  • Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the “y” becomes silent.
  • My wife ran off with my best friend last week. I sure miss him.
  • What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 45 minutes.
  • What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend? About 45 pounds

Marriage joke

Please share your funny marriage jokes in the comments.

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