Boston Soldier

A lady accidentally locked herself out of her car just outside of Boston.

Luckily, a passing soldier notices her and assures her that he can help. First, he takes off his pants. He then rolls them into a ball and rubs them against the car handle.

Almost immediately, the car door unlocks.

“That was amazing! How did you do that?” The woman asks.

“Well, it’s simple”, the soldier replies, “these are my khakis.”

Took The Bus

Last night I got a little drunk at a bar so I decided to take the bus home.  Good thing I did because there was a sobriety checkpoint on the way.  The police just waved the bus through and I got home safely.

Until yesterday I had no idea I could drive a bus, but I’m pretty good at it if you ask me.