I took the shell off my racing snail to see if it would make it go any faster
It just made it more sluggish.
Category: Corny Jokes
My Wish
Genie: What is your final wish?
Me: I wish I were you!
Genue: Weurd but alrught.
Flat Earther
My friend gets really upset when I call him a flat-earther.
He says the correct term is bulldozer operator.
Got Gas
Today I got gas for only $1.29.
Unfortunately it was at Taco Bell.
E.T.
What’s E.T. short for?
Because he is got small legs.
Which Machine
I joined the gym and asked trainer, “I want to impress beautiful girls, which machine should I use?”
He said, “The ATM machine”.
Ghost Pirate
What is a ghost pirate’s favorite kind of tea?
Boo tea.
English Teacher
I wanted to marry my English teacher when she got out of jail,
but apparently you can’t end a sentence with a proposition.
Garbagemen Training
There isn’t really much training for garbagemen.
They just sort of pick things up as they go.
Weapons Collection
I am suspicious that my wife is secretly adding glue to my weapons collection.
She keeps denying it, but I’m sticking to my guns.