I’m thinking of having my spine removed.

It’s only holding me back.

What did Rihanna say to her Grandmother with Alzheimer’s?

Oh nana, What’s my name?

My dad lost his job at the cemetery yesterday because he buried someone in the wrong hole.

It was a grave mistake.

I like to play chess with old men in the park.

The tough part is finding 32 of them.

I just found out my wife cheated on me with her deaf best friend.

Honestly, I should have seen the signs.

What do you call a book club that’s been stuck on the exact same book for years?

Church

Why are graveyards so noisy?

Because of all the coffin!

I once asked a Southern girl to rate my listening skills.

She said, “you’re an eight on a scale of ten”.

Till this day I have no idea why she wanted me pee on a skeleton.

If you could exterminate any race what would you pick?

Personally, I would get rid of the 800m. It‘s too long to be considered a sprint and not long enough to really be long distance.

Why does Trump take Xanax?

For Hispanic attacks!