My wife has evil lessons with Satan every week.
I don’t know how much she charges.
Shutdown
This shutdown is bad for everyone in the service industry, but it especially sucks for men.
We’re losing $1 for every $.79 women are losing.
Finish Line
Finland have just closed their borders.
Which means no one can cross the finish line.
Responsible Employer
As a responsible employer, All my staff are in a 2 week quarantine.
Productivity is through the roof since nobody can leave the office.
My Guns
I’m sure my wife has been putting glue on my weapons collection.
She denies it, but I’m sticking to my guns.
They Finally Got It
I guess China finally got what they wanted/
They managed to coronise the world.
Silent Fart
An elderly couple is in church. The wife says to the husband, “I’ve let out one of those silent farts, what do I do?”
The husband says, “Change the battery in your hearing aid.”
Stone age
Caveman discovers weed.
Caveman discovers fire.
Stone age begins.
Many Paws
When single women get to the age of 50, they tend to adopt lots of cats.
This phenomenon is known as many paws.
Axe Scent
I accidently sprayed deodorant in my mouth today.
Now when I talk I have this weird axe scent.