My dad said people shouldn’t get ribbons just for participating because it rewards them for losing.
So I took down his confederate flag.
My dad said people shouldn’t get ribbons just for participating because it rewards them for losing.
So I took down his confederate flag.
How do you fix a broken gorilla?
With a monkey wrench.
I’m so bored that I just memorized six pages of the dictionary.
I learned next to nothing.
My wife beamed at me with pride and said, “Wow! I never thought our son would go that far!“
I said, “This catapult is amazing! Go get our daughter.”
Give a man a gun and he’ll rob a bank.
Give a man a bank and he’ll rob everyone.
Why did The Joker have to sleep with his lights on?
Because he was afraid of the Dark Knight.
Dad can you explain to me what a solar eclipse is
No sun.
What is a Karen called in Europe?
An American.
I saw a girl crying, so I asked her “Where are your parents?” and she started crying even more.
Man, I love working at the orphanage.
What’s the difference between a musician and a large pizza?
A large pizza can feed a family of four.