My father just told me that I’m in the 1%.
Apparently birth control is only 99% effective.
Cow Vs Crucifixion
What’s the difference between a cow and the crucifixion?
You can’t milk a cow for 2,000 years.
Stranger’s Leg
Did you know that if you hold your ear up to a stranger’s leg…
You can actually hear them say, “What the heck are you doing?”.
Flag of France
Why is the flag of France blue, white, and red?
In case of war they can tear off the sides and surrender.
Eightheist
I only believe in about 12% of the bible.
I guess you could call me an Eightheist.
Like Boomerangs
Dads are like Boomerangs.
I hope.
Pass The Bar
Why is it so hard for alcoholics to become lawyers?
They can’t pass a bar.
My Pizza
A friend of mine had to go to the hospital today because he ate an entire pizza.
My Pizza.
Spine Removal
I’m thinking of having my spine removed.
It’s only holding me back.
Black Holes
I can’t stop reading articles about black holes.
They just keep pulling me in.