Did you hear about the math teacher who is afraid of negative numbers?
She will stop at nothing to avoid them.
Braille Horror
I’ve just started reading a new horror novel written in braille.
Something really scary is going to happen soon, I can feel it.
Watch Belt
Once I tied all my watches to my belt to see what would happen.
Turns out it was just a waist of time.
Five Miles
I named my dog Five Miles so I can tell my friends I walked five miles today.
Past Mistakes
Don’t you hate it when you can’t sleep because you are reminded of a mistake you made 3 years ago?
I hate it when my kid won’t stop crying in the middle of the night
Wintering Bees
Why do bees stay in the hive during the winter?
Swarm.
The Roof
One night I was laying in bed when I looked up and thought, “where the heck is the roof?”.
Bad Archeology
Did you hear about the archaeologist who accidentally destroyed his dig site?
His career is in ruins.
Bad Sense of Direction
My wife always gave me a hard time about my bad sense of direction.
So, I finally packed my bags and right.
Security Job
I went on a job interview for a security guard.
After spending 8 hours in the waiting room I was hired.