To this day, the boy that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money.
On the plus side, he makes great Subway sandwiches.
Sens of Humor
My wife and I share a sense of humor.
We have to. She doesn’t have one.
Philosophy Major
How do you get a philosophy major off of your front porch?
Pay him for the pizza.
Justice
Justice is a dish best served cold
If it were served warm it would be justwater.
Cabinet Maker
My grandpa always used to say “as one door closes, another opens”.
A lovely man. A terrible cabinet maker.
Tense Job
Working at an unemployment office must be so tense.
Even if you get fired, you still have to come in the next day.
He means well
My friend keeps saying “cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water.”
I know he means well.
High Def Yoda
What did Yoda say when he first saw himself in 4k?
HDMI
Laughing Blonde
How do you make a blonde laugh on a Saturday?
Tell her a joke on Wednesday
Funny Bone
If you boil a funny bone…
It becomes a laughing stock.